Stop looking and start becoming

It's when we stop looking when we find what we've been looking for.

In all seriousness, Princess, stop searching for Mr. Right.  Instead, start becoming the person that the person you are looking for is looking for.

Wait, what?

Well, lovely Princess, you know that person you've been looking for to marry?  He's been looking for someone, too.  He has expectations and he knows what he wants, and if he's a real man, he's not looking for someone to mistreat and cheat on and possess only for her outward beauty.  He's looking for a woman who emanates true inner beauty and spiritual maturity.  He's not looking for someone desperate to be in a relationship.  He's looking for a woman confident in who she is in the eyes of God, no matter her relationship status.  He's not looking for a purely physical relationship.  He's looking for a loving relationship that will grow the rest of his life, a woman he finds stimulating in all areas: emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Last year, I watched an entire series of sermons online by Andy Stanley of North Point Church on this subject of what he calls the "new rules of sex, love, and dating".  One of his biggest points is that if two people are always searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right, or if they're just searching for that person with whom they have great chemistry, the relationship eventually ends up falling apart because they have been focusing on finding the right person instead of becoming the right person.

I had just been settling for whoever came my way during college until this summer.  Finally, I gave up and said, "God, you have someone in mind for me.  I'm done looking; in fact, I would rather have it that I stay single throughout the rest of this summer as I go off to my internship so that I can focus more on You and the changes You will create in me, as well as the work You have for me."  I started getting into the Word a lot more and focusing on my relationship with the Lord, on making it my biggest priority in life.  I've grown so much and am learning little by little each day what it means to be a woman of God.  And I'm absolutely loving my relationship with the Lord and all that He shows me each day.

One day during my internship, without me meaning for it to happen, nor without me wanting it to happen, I fell in love with an amazing Christ-centered man in a small evangelical church.  I was about to ignore all such feelings and run away, but that was when God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "My love, you have been wasting your energy on other men who are less worthy of you.  Daughter of mine, are you really going to run away from one of the best men I have to offer?"  And I was convicted, and I obeyed, and I'm so glad I did.

To watch the whole series by Andy Stanley I described above, start here.  I highly recommend it, and it's only four sermons, each one about an hour long.  Do yourself a favor and spend four weeks on this series; watch one part a week for a month, take good notes, and let the message sink into your heart.  Princess, I promise you it's worth it, and I promise you that becoming the person that the person you are looking for is looking for is something you won't regret.

Further reading: Gone Huntin' off of www.shehasworth.com.